Come Ride With Me

A joy ride it won't be.

The past days I have been through some emotional rollercoaster ride. Elation, love, fear and frustration, seems to be are my choices for emotional tuning for the day. Worst feeling ever is frustration and cowardice and dissapointment all in one day.

Like right now, I cannot seem to shake of feelings of disappointment and fear, that part of that life i just want to shut down or run away from, like i would just want to switch to my parallel world where everything is okay and bright and sunny.

Though my days are not gloomy all the time, I just tend to make storms out of a glass of water. That's me, pessimist, gloomist (i made that up, one who likes nurtures gloom), or maybe I just have high toxins level these days.

I've had good news, now that I think of it. Not really good news, but more like hopeful news. But a mountain of obstacles I have to pass through before I get to feel the rays of sunshine in those hopes.

I just somehow lost faith in humanity. Well, that's me running away from reality. Guess what, reality sucks, and it takes every amount of  courage and faith to not permanently free myself of my harsh reality.

But that would be like giving up on God. Life is not about what I want to feel, does it? Maybe I am here to endure so much pain and pass all through it.

Somebody take the heavy lead out of my chest.