Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Starting Over
The past days I have been reading the blog i made when I was in college. and i find it reading my past through the mind of what, 21 year old me. that's like 5 years past! i am glad i made that entries to somehow keep the memory of my life at that time.
so now, i am doing the same. I am at the third of my life (if i was healthy. hahaha) but this probably is the golden age of my young life.
just something to keep a memory of me, for loved ones to read long after i am gone. dramz!
fingers crossed, I hope i could keep posting.
so now, i am doing the same. I am at the third of my life (if i was healthy. hahaha) but this probably is the golden age of my young life.
just something to keep a memory of me, for loved ones to read long after i am gone. dramz!
fingers crossed, I hope i could keep posting.
Just Another Day
Nothing grand today. Woke up at 9 thinking Girlie would come over. showed up at 3.30. haha!
So anyway i cooked lunch (eggplant with pork) for the cousins and dozed off after lunch.
Girlie came and had some girly talk.. hahaha and some serious moments too.
Dinner time, and i cooked escabeche as requested by the cousins.
My day lit up with a chatbox popping but the conversation didn't end well so now i am fuming mad and as a result made this blog to chronicle my life (that life where i am not nursing or is it nurturing a heartbreak?)
i could share this blog, posted it on twitter.. because this isn't throw-up inducing.
and yes, my life soundtrack the past days is provided by the beatles... and someone greatly influencial introduced the band to me.. hahaha.. (sandy stop it.. lol)
that's basically it for today.
Oh yeah, i have work today for my bosses. and my day doesn't feel so unproductive.
ain't that for a change???
Nothing grand today. Woke up at 9 thinking Girlie would come over. showed up at 3.30. haha!
So anyway i cooked lunch (eggplant with pork) for the cousins and dozed off after lunch.
Girlie came and had some girly talk.. hahaha and some serious moments too.
Dinner time, and i cooked escabeche as requested by the cousins.
My day lit up with a chatbox popping but the conversation didn't end well so now i am fuming mad and as a result made this blog to chronicle my life (that life where i am not nursing or is it nurturing a heartbreak?)
i could share this blog, posted it on twitter.. because this isn't throw-up inducing.
and yes, my life soundtrack the past days is provided by the beatles... and someone greatly influencial introduced the band to me.. hahaha.. (sandy stop it.. lol)
that's basically it for today.
Oh yeah, i have work today for my bosses. and my day doesn't feel so unproductive.
ain't that for a change???
Saturday, June 11, 2011
home is where the heart is
it's a weekend, and the loner that i am, well i am alone.
why am i surprised at this, i don't know.
i have been this way for a long time but i don't know why im not used to this.
wait, i was with a partner for a quarter of a year.. but that's history. back to the topic.
so i got the whole place to myself and i have yet to clean some parts of it.
definitely my room is a mess with all the meds i bought early this morning.
work, i am still waiting for instructions. but it's nice to have something to look forward to.
and i paid the bills, not with my money, but with mom's.. i hope next month i could help pay the bills already.
so many things lined up to buy or pay for.. hahaha but i wanted to pay some of my medications though. or cover my allowance so i won't have to ask for it.
oh yeah i am loving this template now.. finally i found one that fits what i envisioned this blog would be. but the music would not play. will have to figure that out yet.
PS the music works! oh this is perfect! :D
why am i surprised at this, i don't know.
i have been this way for a long time but i don't know why im not used to this.
wait, i was with a partner for a quarter of a year.. but that's history. back to the topic.
so i got the whole place to myself and i have yet to clean some parts of it.
definitely my room is a mess with all the meds i bought early this morning.
work, i am still waiting for instructions. but it's nice to have something to look forward to.
and i paid the bills, not with my money, but with mom's.. i hope next month i could help pay the bills already.
so many things lined up to buy or pay for.. hahaha but i wanted to pay some of my medications though. or cover my allowance so i won't have to ask for it.
oh yeah i am loving this template now.. finally i found one that fits what i envisioned this blog would be. but the music would not play. will have to figure that out yet.
PS the music works! oh this is perfect! :D
Saturday, June 11, 2011
somwhere over the rainbow
the beach has always fascinated me. i was supposed to have a beach trip last summer (as in recently lang. ) with friends and someone dear but cancelled last minutes for health reasons.
now i wished i did go to that summer trip. it would have been my first trip away from home after i started being sick. and i was going to be with my friends, and with SO. that would have been a blast.
but now, summer has passed, and so has SO. twinks.
the one thing i feared when the year started has come, that is, spending the rest of the year alone again..
but then again, i find solace in being alone. it's not so bad being alone. well it is bad, but not so much..
one thing i realized, i am still alive. hurrah to that!!
and now i have all the time in the world to spend to myself. which gets boring too sometimes. joke..
i guess it's that point of my life where i explore the world with another set of glasses.. hahaha well literally i have new shades. but what i mean is that, after what i have gone through, i see the world with a fresh perspective. i hope wiser this time.
do i make sense, i don't know.
now i wished i did go to that summer trip. it would have been my first trip away from home after i started being sick. and i was going to be with my friends, and with SO. that would have been a blast.
but now, summer has passed, and so has SO. twinks.
the one thing i feared when the year started has come, that is, spending the rest of the year alone again..
but then again, i find solace in being alone. it's not so bad being alone. well it is bad, but not so much..
one thing i realized, i am still alive. hurrah to that!!
and now i have all the time in the world to spend to myself. which gets boring too sometimes. joke..
i guess it's that point of my life where i explore the world with another set of glasses.. hahaha well literally i have new shades. but what i mean is that, after what i have gone through, i see the world with a fresh perspective. i hope wiser this time.
do i make sense, i don't know.
saturday night live
haay it's saturday and i have no friends on my phonebook i could call for some night out.
OMG, did i just become an old miser without me noticing?
i remember my life, from decades ago, hahahaha, with friends at bay, where we go out to grab some late night snacks. not really a night out at the club or bar, we're not the types, just a night trip to the neighborhood 24 hours store.
haay i have been wanting ice cream since early this evening and i was wishful thinking my friends are available and nearby but they aren't. they live far away and they are all so settled i find it a shame that i am not in that state too..
yeah i am being mellow right now all because i want to go out and eat.
so anway i guess i am making new friends with people i mingle a lot these days and it's time to reconnect to old friends i seemed to have lost touch since EXSO and i were together. haha
i am thinking of enrolling to something again just to have something to look forward to besides waiting for work to start.. definitely not law. hahaha definitely not within the premises of MSU-IIT.. at ICI, perhaps? OMG ivy would kill me.. ICI dili ka magmahay, i am going. maybe.
it's 9pm and i still want ice cream or that starbucks frap in a bottle but it's too expensive it costs P120 that i'd just mix me some nescafe sachet and lots of cream in cold water. hahaha. kacheapan!
last thought for the day... i so want to be rich?! and i need to act fast!
OMG, did i just become an old miser without me noticing?
i remember my life, from decades ago, hahahaha, with friends at bay, where we go out to grab some late night snacks. not really a night out at the club or bar, we're not the types, just a night trip to the neighborhood 24 hours store.
haay i have been wanting ice cream since early this evening and i was wishful thinking my friends are available and nearby but they aren't. they live far away and they are all so settled i find it a shame that i am not in that state too..
yeah i am being mellow right now all because i want to go out and eat.
so anway i guess i am making new friends with people i mingle a lot these days and it's time to reconnect to old friends i seemed to have lost touch since EXSO and i were together. haha
i am thinking of enrolling to something again just to have something to look forward to besides waiting for work to start.. definitely not law. hahaha definitely not within the premises of MSU-IIT.. at ICI, perhaps? OMG ivy would kill me.. ICI dili ka magmahay, i am going. maybe.
it's 9pm and i still want ice cream or that starbucks frap in a bottle but it's too expensive it costs P120 that i'd just mix me some nescafe sachet and lots of cream in cold water. hahaha. kacheapan!
last thought for the day... i so want to be rich?! and i need to act fast!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
CORRECT!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Love you forever, BLiNK TORRES
No words could describe the loss i feel over blink, my first love and my baby.
When i got sick, i was worried who will take care of blink when im gone, and what's his life be, missing me.
I just can't believe blink left me. Died before me. I'm gonna miss him everyday of my life until we meet again. At least there is something good to look forward to about dying.
I miss my baby so much. I wish I was there to take care of him. I had to give him up because i cannot take care of him anymore, because he could get me sick.
I wish it took care of my baby. and i thought we grow old together and die together too. omg im crying again. i really do miss him.
i'm so sorry blink for not taking care of you, when i couldn't take care of you.
Sabot bya ta ha taman pa ka 11. and you were still 7... but siguro it was better because you are not loved as you should be.. im so sorry i failed you.
thank you for the memories. and for your furry friendship.. i love you so so much..
me and parcy will miss you so much.
blink...
When i got sick, i was worried who will take care of blink when im gone, and what's his life be, missing me.
I just can't believe blink left me. Died before me. I'm gonna miss him everyday of my life until we meet again. At least there is something good to look forward to about dying.
I miss my baby so much. I wish I was there to take care of him. I had to give him up because i cannot take care of him anymore, because he could get me sick.
I wish it took care of my baby. and i thought we grow old together and die together too. omg im crying again. i really do miss him.
i'm so sorry blink for not taking care of you, when i couldn't take care of you.
Sabot bya ta ha taman pa ka 11. and you were still 7... but siguro it was better because you are not loved as you should be.. im so sorry i failed you.
thank you for the memories. and for your furry friendship.. i love you so so much..
me and parcy will miss you so much.
blink...
Saturday, July 9, 2011
City of Angels
I love this song, it brings back memories from months back, when things weren't as complicated as it is now. I keep coming back to those times.
"I don't understand the God who would let us meet if there's no way we could ever be together" -City of Angels
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Birthday Girl
Today is my birthday and things didn't turn out as planned.. but it was way better!
had dinner with mom, uncle jun, bever, kuya ogie, ken, roslene, tels, rus, dex and chris..:D yeah. i know right. hahaha
happy 26th birthday to me. It's actually doesn't feel that bad!
I wish to have another year of good health, enough money for my medications, good health and safety for my loved ones, forgiveness. healing, and happiness.
Thank you to all who greeted me happy birthday today and yesterday.. and to those who were at my party yesteday at MSH-HD....until next year!
had dinner with mom, uncle jun, bever, kuya ogie, ken, roslene, tels, rus, dex and chris..:D yeah. i know right. hahaha
happy 26th birthday to me. It's actually doesn't feel that bad!
I wish to have another year of good health, enough money for my medications, good health and safety for my loved ones, forgiveness. healing, and happiness.
Thank you to all who greeted me happy birthday today and yesterday.. and to those who were at my party yesteday at MSH-HD....until next year!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
musings
falling in love all over again to that future someone i am to fall in love and marry while listening to IKAW.
dear future someone, i really do wish i'd meet you soon. or ever meet you before it's too late..
would there really be someone who would sweep mo off my feet and promise me eternal fidelity, happiness, love , devotion and care?
well, there better be. but for the meantime, i'm gonna continue indulging myself with these inspiring wedding songs..
haay, at 26 and after everything that has happened to me, i have still not given up on love and happy endings..
will i ever?
for as long as i remember, i know i wanted nothing less than a Maalala Mo Kaya kind of love story, of life story.. hahahaha...
I can't believe I am already 26.. :D
But i can say I am happy despite everything that has happened the past 3 years. can't believe it's 3 years either!
But life goes on. and i go on with a happy disposition in life..
i really think i should always listen to these kind of music cause it lifts up my spirits. hahaha
love. love. love. till the end.
even if it means i am to be in love with love by myself..
dear future someone, i really do wish i'd meet you soon. or ever meet you before it's too late..
would there really be someone who would sweep mo off my feet and promise me eternal fidelity, happiness, love , devotion and care?
well, there better be. but for the meantime, i'm gonna continue indulging myself with these inspiring wedding songs..
haay, at 26 and after everything that has happened to me, i have still not given up on love and happy endings..
will i ever?
for as long as i remember, i know i wanted nothing less than a Maalala Mo Kaya kind of love story, of life story.. hahahaha...
I can't believe I am already 26.. :D
But i can say I am happy despite everything that has happened the past 3 years. can't believe it's 3 years either!
But life goes on. and i go on with a happy disposition in life..
i really think i should always listen to these kind of music cause it lifts up my spirits. hahaha
love. love. love. till the end.
even if it means i am to be in love with love by myself..
Saturday, August 6, 2011
No Air
How do you expect me to live my life with just me?
Hahaha, just singing NO AIR song. it's what i sing when i'm out of breath again. I am waiting for bever to arrive to take me Micron to have CBC. If it's low, I might have blood transfusion again this Monday.
I got teary eyed earlier because for 10 seconds I felt I was so alone this battle and I felt so helpless. I actually voiced out asking God to please help me. So I got a call from Mama, and fixed things for me, now bever is coming to take me to the laboratory.
I also felt sad for myself earlier when i saw the pics of my cousins bonding at timoga. I only have an actual relationship with this cousins in FB before but there's that lukso ng dugo with them, knowing you share a bloodline that draws me to them, and i was so wanting to go to timoga on that day too. but my condition has so many conditions for me to be able to go there.
so many things i missed because i am being sick.
Hahaha, just singing NO AIR song. it's what i sing when i'm out of breath again. I am waiting for bever to arrive to take me Micron to have CBC. If it's low, I might have blood transfusion again this Monday.
I got teary eyed earlier because for 10 seconds I felt I was so alone this battle and I felt so helpless. I actually voiced out asking God to please help me. So I got a call from Mama, and fixed things for me, now bever is coming to take me to the laboratory.
I also felt sad for myself earlier when i saw the pics of my cousins bonding at timoga. I only have an actual relationship with this cousins in FB before but there's that lukso ng dugo with them, knowing you share a bloodline that draws me to them, and i was so wanting to go to timoga on that day too. but my condition has so many conditions for me to be able to go there.
so many things i missed because i am being sick.
