Weekend Melancholy

Today is Saturday, and I am feeling melancholic.
Just that, right here, right now, i wish to be doing something out there at the park, strolling, watching people pass by, instead of being here at home, staring at this screen, writing about what i want to do and not actually out there acting it all out.

I am tempted to post WANTED FRIEND on Facebook but that would be too pathetic of me. And people are quick to decide i have a pathetic life.

I long to connect to someone who likes to be with me. Who enjoys my company. And Im not even thinking of a boyfriend. just a friend. Who would lend me some happiness and joy. Some feelings that I dont have to generate by myself.

I could take my dogs out. But they are for too energetic than me that i wont be able to keep up with them.

I just want to go to the park.

And talk. About a lot of things. About life, love, meaning life and existence, about death, about God.

I remember those many afternoons and nights, with different people, at different times of my life where we'd sit there in one of those benches, and just talk and talk and talk. It's like being in a little secret cave where everything else move and you and your friend are in a frozen dimension.

I love that feeling. When nothing seems to matter. When you are aware that the world is moving simultaneously somewhere as yours seems to be frozen.

That moment when you are on a busy street and  you look up to the sky and see it's a full moon and then you marvel at its beauty, and wonder if other people in the city notice that very beautiful scene just hanging above them.

I miss obsessing someone. I miss pouring out love and affection to someone. I miss having someone dote on me.

I am Sandy. I am invisible.