Keep me Pinterested

Having 'unclean' blood most of the time (it gets 'cleaned' only during dialysis), I tend to be down, not totally depressed, but more like uninspired. And I hate it when I am uninspired because it makes me question whether or not I still have a future or what good does it make if I get to live/hope for many years to come and nothing to live for? I hate it when my life seems unexciting, or nothing inspires me or thrills me because I just sulk a little and get into mood swings that annoy loved ones.

And so everyday, I try to find things that livens up my bored and monotonous life (that's me being ungrateful, sorry). Right now I am still waiting for Pinterest invite so I can make a virtual collage of things that drifts me off to sleep, kinda private (is it just me or does that sound a little kinky? LOL). I plan not to share it yet, maybe soon, I hope not too soon but one day I will get to share it.

I am waltzing in the kitchen now too which I never got to do growing up. School, boarding house, and work kept me out of the kitchen most of the time. Though I know a few baking skills. And I am rediscovering cooking right now with ingredients I never got to use before and I am always surprised if the dish is eatable and get rave review by well, one loyal patron. hahaha, It's so fun to cook and be able to eat it too, but I hate the dishwashing after. 

I hate this cycle lang, of being hyper then down then hyper again then down again. It just goes on and on and on and I can't help what I feel. But it's good right, being able to feel means I am still alive and I am still human, so I might as well jump in the cart and enjoy this rollercoaster kind of life.